


King of the Mountain

by Shadoow (Chikita)



Series: Haikyuu Omo Stuff (English) [19]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bathroom Humor, Gen, Noya risks his life for the meme, Pee, Short and stupid, Tired Captain Ennoshita
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:47:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikita/pseuds/Shadoow
Summary: Noya decides to make running exercise through the mountains a little more interesting. Ennoshita is not amused.
Series: Haikyuu Omo Stuff (English) [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1504397
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	King of the Mountain

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4ade0c69680a5e256442eac3a8d7bd92/0db7b6fa01a928c4-e2/s1280x1920/9ca32446016617ee380c9ca7a78f519819c8c201.jpg) after we mutually agreed that Noya would be most likely to do it. This is not really omorashi but it’s also pee-related and tied to my omo account so here it goes.
> 
> Set during an unspecific time during summer with Noya and co. being third years.

“Guuuuys!”

Ennoshita skidded to a halt at the ear-piercing scream echoing through the mountain air, almost crashing into Tanaka’s back who had been running ahead of him. He whipped around, expecting the worst of the worst, an injury, wild animals, a sudden aerial attack...anything other than Noya standing in the middle of their path, hands on his hips, looking as confident as ever.

“I gotta pee!”, he announced loud enough for the whole squad to hear, grinning as that statement resulted in a few groans from his teammates. Whether it was an excuse to get out of their “boring” running exercise or a genuine need, a break was in due. Again. If they kept up this trend they would never reach the top of the mountain and complete their task for today.

“Hurry up, will you? The others are waiting at the finish line,” Ennoshita told him with a wave of his hand. He expected Noya to step aside and water one of the trees lining their path like Tanaka and all the other players minus Tsukishima had done several times before. That explained his surprise when instead, the guy vanished behind a row of bushes to walk further into the woods. He shrugged it off. Sometimes even the most extroverted people appreciated a bit of privacy.

“Alright, break time everyone!” Ennoshita went to lean against the trunk of a tree, savoring the shade shielding his face from the heat of the afternoon sun. From the corner of his eye, he watched the rest of his squad so no one would take their chance and run off. Fortunately, no one seemed to have any intentions of doing so. Kageyama and Hinata had one of their usual quarrels, Tsukishima was venting to Yamaguchi about how he considered this whole training routine to be “absolutely useless”, and Tanaka was busy chatting Narita’s and Kinnoshita’s ears off due to his best friend’s absence. All in all, their summer camp was going well this year.

That must have jinxed it because after waiting for at least ten minutes, Noya still wasn’t back from his bathroom escapades. With his arms crossed over his chest, Ennoshita focused on the very same bush Noya had walked behind, growing more and more antsy with every passing second. About five additional minutes later, he couldn’t bear the stress anymore. No healthy teenager needed fifteen minutes to take a leak. “I’ll be right back.” Ennoshita shot Yamaguchi, aspiring captain and probably the most responsible out of the former first years a hopeful look, silently begging him to make sure no one died while he was gone looking for their lost child.

At first, he was nowhere in sight, causing Ennoshita’s stomach to clench up in dread. So this was what Daichi had been going through during his year as a captain. He let his eyes roam, feeling like a jungle explorer as he fought his way through the undergrowth, only that jungle explorers didn’t usually explore their jungles in gym shorts. It wasn’t until he heard someone laughing in the distance that he sped up his walk, almost running towards the light leading to a clearing.

Out of breath and with scratched up calves, he escaped the denser part of the woods where his eyes could see further than the next tree. Since they were in the mountains, there was a cliff nearby, closed off with a railing and a warning sign so all the adventurous tourists wouldn’t fall to their deaths during one of their hikes. That’s when Ennoshita spotted a small, childlike figure standing right at the edge of the cliff, wearing the same white shirt and black shorts he did.

For a moment, his heart stopped beating.

“Noyaaa!” he yelled out to the figure, tripping over his feet and almost falling as he hurried to save his reckless teammate from the dangerous situation he got himself into. Ignoring the sign reminding him of how batshit _crazy_ this all was, he leaped over the railing like a hurdles runner and stopped a few feet from where Noya was standing. Only now did the guy take notice of his arrival.

“Whooo! I always wanted to do this!” Noya’s hollering echoed through the air as he tilted his head back to beam at him, looking prouder than he’d done after receiving his “best libero” award at the last inter high. Ennoshita stared at Noya as he peed down into the valley without a care in the world, creating a rather impressive arc that some people would probably be fascinated by.

“Do you-”, his voice cracked from the panic slithering up his throat, “Do you have _any_ idea how dangerous that is? Have you lost your mind? Couldn’t you just- I dunno, pee on a bush or tree like a _sane_ human being?” Ennoshita was torn between calling the coach or dragging Noya off that cliff with his own hands, but merely looking at the scene stunned him into immobility.

“Nah, you only live once!”, Noya replied accompanied by more laughter, protruding his chest to make himself look taller as he kept peeing, “I’m the king of this mountain! Everyone bow down to me!”

“No one’s bowing to you, you’re gonna fucking _die!”_ The rest of Ennoshita’s patience had thinned out considerably, leaving only fear and straight-up anger at the ridiculous behavior of his same-aged teammate that he would’ve expected from a five-year-old, “As your captain, I order you get away from that cliff right now!” Or you’ll be sent to the naughty corner and go to bed without dessert, his mother’s stern voice echoed in his mind, making his cheeks heat up.

“Chill, I’m almost finished. Give me another ten seconds. I really had to go, okay? Seriously.”

“Noya-san!”, another familiar voice reached Ennoshita’s ears, this time from behind his back. He didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Apparently, Yamaguchi hadn’t been successful at keeping the group together, but he couldn’t blame him. Herding rabid cats would’ve been an easier feat.

“Aww! Why didn’t you _say_ you were gonna do it today? I would’ve brought my phone to take pictures.” Tanaka came running towards them, Hinata on his heels who looked nowhere less excited.

“Noya-senpai is so cool!”, he yelled out in awe, loud enough for Noya to hear and show him the victory sign, his grin so broad it split his face in half. With a sigh, Ennoshita crouched down and buried his face in his hands, praying to the heavens that everything was going to be okay. Daichi and Suga would be very disappointed with him for not putting a stop to this, but then again, who would expect one of his fellow third years to be the main troublemaker of the team?

“That was fun.” Noya was smiling brighter than the sun as he walked away from the cliff to meet up with his teammates, adjusting his shorts on the way, “Loading up on a shitton of water was absolutely worth it.”

“You planned that?” Ennoshita’s voice came out as more of a shriek, earning him a few chuckles and confused glances from the rest of the players who hadn’t witnessed Noya risk his life for his childish experiments. Kinoshita helped him up from the ground, Narita patting his back with a look of pity gracing his features. Ennoshita wanted to say something, _anything_ to exercise his authority but was at a loss for words. At least everyone was still alive, but considering it was only the second day of training camp, that fact could change pretty quickly.

“Let’s go back to practice already,“ he announded, shooting everyone a disapproving look, especially Noya and Tanaka. “No bathroom breaks until we’re finished. And that goes for everyone.”


End file.
